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Chapter 3: The Mud on His Shoes
EndlessFantasy Translation
Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
Curing jaundice with carp?
The man suffering from jaundice froze in the spot. However, no matter how crazy it sounded, they had to give it a try.
As long as there was a lifeline, no matter how hopeless it seemed like, they could not give up on it now, could they?
The middle-aged man with jaundice approached the farmer hastily and said quietly, “Old man, can I buy these carp from you?”
The farmer shook his head. “I’m bringing these wild carp to my daughter and son-in-law. I can’t sell them to you. This isn’t something that can be found in the city.”
The man afflicted with jaundice said nothing else and took out a dozen bills with Grandpa Mao’s face on them. It should have amounted to several thousand bucks. He stuffed them into the old farmer’s hands forcefully.
A wide smile blossomed on the old farmer’s face as he passed the entire bucket of wild carp over to the man with jaundice.
The middle-aged man with jaundice carried the plastic bucket over and said to Huang Xiaolong, “Young master, I’ve bought all the carp. Can you please help me take a look…?”
“Well, choose the six biggest carps and cut off their tails,” replied Huang Xiaolong with a hint of a smile.
“Uh–” The two middle-aged men sank into dumbfounded conflict once more.
“This is nuts! Huang Xiaolong, are you even treating them?” Song Yuru started stomping her feet anxiously. “How long do you plan to continue fooling around like this?”
“My dear First Wife, how do you know I’m not treating them?” Huang Xiaolong threw her a smile.
Soon enough, the middle-aged man suffering from jaundice borrowed a pair of scissors from another passenger and chose the six fattest carp from the plastic bucket. He snipped off their tails and handed them over to Huang Xiaolong.
“Now, take off your shirt and lie down on the walkway. Place your hands flat on the ground,” ordered Huang Xiaolong.
The man with jaundice obeyed and took off his shirt. Naked from the waist, he lied down on the walkway immediately.
The passengers in the train compartment started whispering to each other as they watched on curiously.
Huang Xiaolong crouched down and placed all six fishtails around his belly button. All the fishtails were directed at the middle of the belly button.
After completing this task, Huang Xiaolong returned to his seat, sat crossed legged, and leaned back.
A few minutes later!
Suddenly, yellowish liquid started flowing out from the middle of the middle-aged man’s belly button. The pungent smell of fishiness wafted over everyone’s noses. The smell came in waves at first, then it began to overwhelm everyone.
Many of the train compartment’s passengers’ faces were wrinkled up. They covered up their noses and some of them escaped to another train compartment to avoid the horrible smell.
Yellowish pus flowed out from the man’s bellybutton like tap water. Meanwhile, his originally yellow and waxen face started to fade away at a visible rate. His skin transformed from his usual yellow into a normal skin hue!
After ten minutes, yellowish liquid stopped spilling out from the middle-aged man’s belly button as the fishtails that were stuck there looked yellow. It was as though they were roasted.
His complexion returned to normal. Even the beads of sweat on his forehead recovered their translucence.
It was as though a spring breeze swept over the man. He felt refreshed and energetic.
“Alright, it’s done. You can get up now,” said Huang Xiaolong.
The middle-aged man leaped onto his feet like a carp jumping out of the water, looking at his left and right. Then, he rushed toward Huang Xiaolong, grabbed a hold of his arm, and said with a trembling voice, “Young master, you are a miracle! I feel so good now. My entire body feels good. It feels like I’ve put down a gigantic burden… Young master, I owe you my life! I… I have no way to repay you!”
“Like I said, treating jaundice and whatnot are too easy for me…” Huang Xiaolong gave an indifferent smile and winked at Song Yuru. “My dearest First Wife, I’m not bragging now, am I?”
Song Yuru was convinced. She pointed to the middle-aged man’s face. “His face… Has truly returned to a healthy color and skin complexion… Nothing on him is yellow anymore… I didn’t know carp tails can cure this? I’ve learned something new today.
“What kind of principle is this medical treatment based on?” Song Yuru wanted to get to the bottom of this.
“No principles. It’s just an ancient alternative formula,” replied Huang Xiaolong. “However, I’m the only person in the entire world who knows this alternative method.”
“Eh— There you go again. You keep bragging…” Song Yuru said with pouting lips. Despite that, she had already believed that Huang Xiaolong was not lying. “Even if you said you’re the only person who knows about this alternative method, what now? I know about it; everyone in this train compartment knows about it. That means this is no longer a secret alternative method exclusive only to you.”
“It’s not a big deal.” Huang Xiaolong shrugged. “I know another seven thousand more exclusive alternative methods like this. This is nothing to me.”
“Uh— show off…” Song Yuru was rendered completely speechless.
“Young master, Miracle Doctor! You’re Hua Tuo1 of our generation; the reincarnation of Bian Que2!” exclaimed the bald middle-aged man who was suffering from late-stage liver cirrhosis. He was also fawning over Huang Xiaolong. “With all due respect, it is an honor for the two of us to meet a miracle doctor like you!”
Initially, the man suffering from liver cirrhosis had his doubts about Huang Xiaolong’s medical skills. However, after witnessing Huang Xiaolong’s exclusive alternative medicine at work, he was completely overtaken with awe.
After all, his partner had been suffering from jaundice for years. He traveled the entire country to seek medical treatment—he even went overseas for treatment countless times—but to no avail.
Eventually, Huang Xiaolong used merely a few fishtails and cured him without barely lifting a finger. If Huang Xiaolong was not a miracle doctor, then, what else would qualify?
“Late-stage liver cirrhosis, right?” Huang Xiaolong casually glanced at the bald man.
“Please save my life, Miracle Doctor!” begged the bald man sincerely.
“Hmm— This is simple.” With his legs still crossed, Huang Xiaolong raised his right left and pointed to the caked up mud that covered the bottom of his rubber shoes. “Eat the mud here.”
Eat mud?
On the soles of Huang Xiaolong’s army green rubber boots, there were thick layers of thick mud. In addition, the caked up mud was yellow, similar to the color of yellowish poop—it looked utterly disgusting. Now, he wanted the bald middle-aged man to eat the mud!
“It’s so disgusting! You’re a monster!” Song Yuru told him off. “You promised to treat his illness but now you came up with such a vicious method to humiliate him… I don’t know what that says about your character…”
“This…” Resentment flashed across the bald man’s eyes.
Previously, it was the bald man who told Huang Xiaolong off in the first place. Without a doubt, Huang Xiaolong must be using this chance to take revenge.
Nobody knew this but the bald middle-aged man could be considered an entrepreneur in Coast City who was not doing too bad. With a fortune beyond hundreds of millions, there were nearly hundreds to thousands of employees making a living out of the salaries he paid them. Never did he expect to face the humiliation of having to eat mud!
Huang Xiaolong continued calmly. “Stop dilly-dallying about it. If you want to eat it, then do so quickly. If you’re not, scram. Truth be told, there are many more people who want to eat the mud off my pair of shoes. I’m only granting you this chance to lick my shoes because of my First Wife. If you’re still unsatisfied with it, forget about it. You can do whatever you want. I’m not treating your illness.”
“Old Hong, stop hesitating… Just eat it! Bear with it and it’ll be over before you know it! You’ve been tortured by your sickness for many years now. If it ever becomes cancerous, your entire life will be ruined!”
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With his partner’s advice and the threat of death, the bald man gave in eventually.
“Miracle Doctor, I apologize if I offended you with my rudeness just now. It’s my fault. Please don’t think too much about it. I’ll willingly eat the mud!” The bald man gritted his teeth and reached out a hand toward Huang Xiaolong’s rubber shoes. He pinched out a lump of mud, shut his eyes tight, and stuffed the mud into his mouth.
“Don’t eat that! It’s too dirty!” Song Yuru spat out anxiously.
Yet!
Once he placed the mud into his mouth, the bald middle-aged man’s furrowed eyebrows relaxed. His facial expression transformed from one of disgust into bliss, as if he was tasting some delicacy or heavenly elixir!
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