Stranger Danger Chapter 202: Shit Talking

Chapter 202: Shit Talking

“Impossible! There is no way my Eastern Purple Cloud Stele would lose to a shitty book!” Wang Luori roared.

Gritting his teeth, the Hill Lord poured all of his astral qi and spirit into the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele. An incredible amount of dark purple qi immediately gushed out of the Strange Artifact, and a three-footed, golden purple bird carrying a sun in its mouth appeared in the sky.

The oddly-shaped bird flapped its wings and unleashed a jet of purple flames from its mouth. The painting of humanity, mountains and rivers shook violently under the assault before dissolving into nothingness.

Wang Luori let out a crazed laugh when he saw this. “Hahaha! I knew there’s no way that shitty book can resist my Eastern Purple Cloud Stele! Today is the day I turn your academy into dust, Zhang Lanjiang!”

The original Eastern Purple Cloud Stele possessed no offensive capabilities, but when it fell into his hands, he came up with a way to give it one. He sealed the soul essence of a Phenomenon-class Stranger called the Sunbearing Golden Crow inside the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele and fed it his spirit and blood essence day and night. Over time, the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele gained the ability to attack.

But of course, this wasn’t his true objective. His true objective was to make the Sunbearing Golden Crow sentient so it could become the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele’s artifact spirit. This way, the Strange Artifact would gain limitless potential for growth.

Unfortunately, the Sunbearing Golden Crow still hadn’t shown any signs of sentience to this day. Even so, its powers couldn’t be underestimated.

“Who are you calling a shitty book?!”

The Sunbearing Golden Crow was about to hit Zhang Lanjiang after punching through the painting when suddenly, the Sage’s Notes stood up of its own accord. A pair of muscular arms abruptly shot out of its front and back cover, and they rapidly grew in size in just a fraction of a second. At the beginning, its hands were only as big as a millstone. Later, they were the size of an entire house.

The book easily caught the Sunbearing Golden Crow with its left hand and crushed it to pieces. Before anyone could react, it swiped the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele out of the air with its right hand and brought it down on a stunned Wang Luori.

Boom!

By the time Wang Luori realized he was in deep shit, it was already too late. He was smashed into the ground without any resistance.

This was just the beginning, however. The Sage’s Notes hit Wang Luori with his own Strange Artifact again and again while yelling a stream of expletives,

“Shitty book? I overlooked your transgression once because you’re just a wee, but you just can’t help yourself, can you? Who the fuck do you think you are to swear at me?”

“You’re a shitty brat who doesn’t have a bush under your pants, and you think you can destroy my White Horse Academy with a shitty stele and a mindless bird? Your own bloody founder wouldn’t dare to make such a claim, and you’re nothing compared to him!”

“I thought you said you wanna wipe out my White Horse Academy? What are you waiting for? You’ll get your wish as long as you defeat me, so get up! Get up and face me you useless, worthless sack of shit!”

“Your founder would be rolling in his grave if he knew the kind of shitstain who’s commanding his Sunset Hill right now! It’s fine though! I’ll teach a lesson on his behalf! Eat shit, you worthless piece of shit!”

“Take this! And that! And another!”

As the Sage’s Notes continued to kick ass and shit talk Wang Luori, everyone wore shocked and bewildered expressions on their faces.

They were shocked because the tables had been turned in just the blink of an eye. A moment ago, Wang Luori was kicking Zhang Lianjiang’s ass to orbit. Now, it looked like the Sage’s Notes would hammer him to the center of the planet.

They looked bewildered because the Hill Lord was being done in by a book, and the book was also swearing like a jianghu ruffian.

“I knew this was going to happen. Sigh…”

Even Zhang Lianjiang was wearing an embarrassed expression. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“A Commentary On The Sights Of Tian Yong” was a famous work written by the first principal of White Horse Academy. It was a record of the geography and culture of the prefecture of Tian Yong based on his travels and experiences.

The book wasn’t just comprehensive and accurate, it was quite humorous and easy to understand. It was adored by the populace and heralded as one of the greatest masterpieces of Chu even to this day. It was also why Feng Moyu came to be known as the Sage.

The book Zhang Lanjiang was holding was the first draft. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it was the culmination of Feng Moyu’s life’s work. That was how it transformed into a Strange Artifact.

Later, the first draft was enshrined in the Sage’s Hall of the academy and nurtured with the righteous qi of Confucianism. As a result, it eventually gained sentience.

It was said that Feng Moyu was an exceptionally hot-tempered and upright man despite being a scholar. Since the first draft was born from Feng Moyu’s will, it naturally inherited its writer’s character: fiery, upright, and violently virtuous. If someone said or did something it didn’t like, it would not hesitate to kick ass and chew bubblegum.

Of course, this type of personality was nothing special in the jianghu whatsoever, but in a lawful, cultured place like the White Horse Academy? It stood out to say the least.

Personally, Zhang Lanjiang was exasperated that the academy’s ultimate treasure and the life’s work of a great sage was a shit talking gangster. To say that it singlehandedly ruined a scholar’s image of impeccable etiquette and manners would be an understatement.

It was also why he allowed only a handful of trusted aides to learn about its existence, much less outsiders. For one, a trump card should remain hidden until it was time for it to shine. And two, it was just highly embarrassing. So embarrassing, in fact, that Zhang Lanjiang wouldn’t have used it if he had any other option.

That said, the Sage’s Notes were unquestionably powerful. It was single-handedly trouncing a Half-Step Spirit Master and another Soulstealer-class Strange Artifact like they were babies.

Zhang Lanjiang couldn’t deny feeling a deep, deep sense of satisfaction as he watched the Sage’s Notes wrecking Wang Luori both physically and mentally. If he wasn’t the principal, and this wasn’t a public space, he might even be tempted to cheer on the Sage’s Notes and join in on the abuse!

“Oh, what was I thinking? Such thoughts are not befitting for a scholar!” Zhang Lanjiang chided himself for his ungentlemanly thoughts before returning his attention to the wonderful show.

Meanwhile, after pummeling Wang Luori with its massive fists about two dozen times, the Sage’s Notes grabbed both ends of the stele. Muscles bulging and arms growing even bigger than before, it let out a cringeworthy scream, “Hiyaah!” and exerted its strength.

Crack crack crack…

Cracks began appearing on the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele’s surface. Every Sunset Hill disciple looked beyond horrified.

“Ahhh! No! No!”

No one was more horrified than the Hill Lord himself, however. His fearful cries seeped out of the deep, dark pit he was in, and he appeared on the edge a second later. However, his clothes were tattered, his appearance was unseemly, and his aura was far, far weaker than before. He was so weakened that he couldn’t even stand straight.

Wang Luori’s eyes widened like saucers as he stared at the breaking Eastern Purple Cloud Stele.

It’s going to destroy my Eastern Purple Cloud Stele?

It’s actually going to destroy my Eastern Purple Cloud Stele?!

There was nothing he could do to stop the book, however. Right now, his body was hurt and numb, his astral qi was in shambles, and his energies were circulating sluggishly. He could only watch as his prized Strange Artifact broke bit by bit.

“You called me a shitty book, didn’t you? Let’s see who’s shittier after I snapped your shitty stele in half!” the Sage’s Notes taunted while continuing its work.

“No, I… I’m sorry, senior. I shouldn’t have insulted you. I’m the shitty one here, so please…”

Hatred and frustration flickered within Wang Luori’s eyes, but he had no choice but to beg for mercy. After all, the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele was the source of his confidence and strength. Without it, Sunset Hill would suffer a massive decline. Therefore, he couldn’t afford to lose it no matter what!

He didn’t like his revenge served cold, but that didn’t mean he was incapable of waiting. Whatever humiliation he suffered now could always be repaid tenfold later.

“Hehehe. Don’t you think that your apology came a little too late? Also, it doesn’t really sound all that sincere. You’re plotting to take revenge in the future, aren’t you? Do you think I’m stupid? Eat shit, you stupid fuck!”

The Sage’s Notes practically laughed in Wang Luori’s face before letting out another “Hiyaah!” A second later, the stele snapped in half just like that.

“You—pwack!”

As the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele was bonded with Wang Luori through his heart’s blood, its destruction also dealt Wang Luori a severe blow. He looked downright pitiful as he stared at the broken stele in a daze.

“Aw man, it broke before I could use my full strength. What a shitty, lousy stele it is! Ptooey!” The Sage’s Notes shook the two halves of the Eastern Purple Cloud Stele left and right before tossing them away like trash.

“I… I… You… You…!”

Wang Luori could only point a finger at the Sage’s Notes and tremble in hatred and fury.

“What? Do you miss that shitty trash that badly? Fine! I suppose I can do you one favor!”

The Sage’s Notes slapped Wang Luori across the torso as soon as it finished. The Hill Lord was turned into a star in the sky just like that.

“The rest of you can get lost as well! Or do you need me to send you off as well?”

The Sage’s Notes then wheeled around and shook its fist at the Sunset Hill disciples standing not far away from it.

“C’mon!”

They obeyed its command, of course. What could they possibly do when even Wang Luori had been swatted away like a fly? No one wanted to taste the fists of the Sage’s Notes, so they were gone in just the blink of an eye.

After the Sunset Hill group was gone, Zhang Lanjiang gave the Sage’s Notes a deep bow and said, “Thank you for your timely assistance, great sage!”

“You’re welcome, but I have a question. Why didn’t you let me kill them all? Those walking garbage don’t deserve to live, man!” The Sage’s Notes complained unhappily.

Zhang Lanjiang shook his head. “We’re both in the wrong in this matter, and we are both sects of Luo Shui. We should be watching out for each other, not killing each other to the last!”

“Why do scholars study? Is it not to learn how to spread kindness to all people?”

“Hmph! Are you secretly a woman? Or did you read so many books that you accidentally rotted your own brain?”

The Sage’s Notes scoffed in disdain, “Kindness is a virtue, but it isn’t something all people deserve. Good people are deserving of kindness, but bad people deserve punishment. Why do you think saints and sages get wrathful sometimes?”

“These people literally kicked down your door and screamed how they were going to destroy your sect, and not only did you let them slap you in the face, you’re going to offer the other side of your cheek as well? Are you stupid or senile?”

Zhang Lanjiang could only let out a helpless laugh. Unwilling to argue against the Sage’s Notes, the principal echoed awkwardly, “You are right, great sage.”

The Sage’s Notes bobbed up and down in satisfaction, “Hmph hmph! Of course I’m right! Don’t hesitate to wake me up the next time something like this happens again! I promise I’ll beat the shit out of them!”

“Remember this, Young Zhang. We White Horse Academy don’t enjoy causing trouble, but that doesn’t mean we’re afraid of trouble. A gentleman must stand up for himself before he can be strong!”

“This student will remember this!” Zhang Lanjiang saluted.

“Alright. I’m heading back to my place now,” The Sage’s Notes said and flew back to White Horse Academy in a beam of light.

“Farewell, great sage!”

“Farewell, great sage!”

Zhang Lanjiang and every other White Horse Academy disciple chanted as they bowed their bodies in salute. Their voices would reverberate throughout the academy and soar through the heavens for a very long time.