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Chapter 458: Everything She Doesn ‘t Know
I received the first birthday present you gave me in my life. It was a box of biscuits in the shape of handcuffs. I’ve never felt so happy. Can you handcuff me like this for the rest of my life? Thank you for your gift. This is the best gift of my life.
“I have a tumor in my brain stem. The success rate of the surgery is less than 10%. The cruelest thing is that even if the surgery is successful, I might die. Even if I don’t do the surgery, my life might be in danger at any time…l’ve just fallen in love with you. Why do you want me to lose the right to love you?
When she was gathering with Ouyang and the others, a woman named Tong Lin wore an ear stud and made up a story. I suddenly made this decision. I’ve decided to give up on you. Even though my heart is aching to death, I can’t let you watch me die and suffer for the rest of your life. Hatred is always easier to let go than love. Hating me is always better than loving me.
This way, even if I die one day, you will recover one day.
‘ Xiaxia, I’m writing this message now. I really hope you can open it now. That way, I can tell you that I’m sorry, Xiaxia. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t like Tong Lin, and she’s not the lover of my dreams. You saved my life when I was young. Even if you forget me, I won’t forget you. But I know you won’t see it. Because I know you can’t see it, I send you messages every day.
‘Xiaxia, I promised I wouldn’t hurt you, but I hurt you again. Why don’t you leave me quickly? Then I can die in peace.’ Why do you want me to hurt you again and again? When will these days end? I really think that all of this is just a dream. After waking up from the dream, we are still happy. I won’t die, and I don’t have to play the role of hurting you to make you leave me… I can hug you and tell you I’m sorry. I love you.
Xiaxia, why are you doing this to me? I just… I just wanted you to leave me. Why did you jump into the sea? How can you die!
Today, I found your corpse. Beside it was the crystal bottle that I gave you. There was still a drop of seawater in the crystal bottle. That was our unfulfilled promise. I promised you that I would take you to see all the seas in the world and let the seawater from all over the world fill this happy crystal bottle. I haven’t done it yet. Why did you leave me…
‘Xiaxia, don’t let me not find you, okay?’ Please. Losing you is something that makes me even more afraid and desperate than death, do you know that?
Grandpa asked me to go for the surgery. He hired the best oncologist in the world for me. If I die on the operating table, just treat it as if we’re not fated to be together. I have a strong intuition that you must still be alive. You must be alive. I must not die. Otherwise, who else can look for you for me?
‘The operation was a success. Xiaxia, if I had known that the operation would be a success, I would never have done such a stupid thing and asked you to leave me.’ Where are you now? I couldn’t get through to your previous phone either. It was as if you had vanished from the face of the earth. The sea is so vast. Finding you is as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack. However, I won’t give up looking for you.
Xiaxia, where are you now? How are you doing? Would he worry about his life? I’ve transferred some money to your card. If you’re in trouble, you’ll definitely need it.
‘Xiaxia, why don’t you ever use a bank card?’ I’ve searched the whole world, I’ve searched all the Li Shengxia’s, but you’re not one of them.
They all thought I was crazy. They all told me you were dead. They all told me to give up looking for you and start a new life. But only I know that you are definitely alive. If you’re already dead, what’s the point of continuing my life? Xiaxia, it’s not good for you to come out. Let everyone know that I’m not crazy, you’re not dead, and we’ll have a future…
–0uyang introduced many girls to me again, but I don’t like any of them. I only like one person. I only like one person in this life, and that person is you. Other than you, no one else can enter my heart. What about you? When will you be back?
Xiaxia, today I went back to where we used to live a long time ago. You lived next door then. I found a music box and a letter in your room. I saw the complete contents of that letter from back then. So, it wasn’t a farewell letter. So, five years ago, you liked me too. I’m an idiot. How stupid am I? How self-righteous am I? Do I still have the chance to apologize to you? I’m sorry, Xiaxia. I’m sorry. I didn’t know until too late that you’ve liked me for so many years.
And I stubbornly hurt you for so long…
‘Xiaxia, the cafe we used to go to is closed today.’ Also, go to your favorite CD store. When are you coming back? When you come back, will those memories that belong to us be gone?
Xiaxia, it’s been a few months, but I still haven’t heard from you. But I know that you are still alive. Do you still remember the ‘Ten Miles of Hongzhuang’ , the street I gave you? I began to renovate and rebuild this place. I wanted to lock all our memories here. “This way, I won’t have to worry about which shop will close down anymore. I won’t have to worry anymore. Our shared memories will gradually decrease.
It’s my birthday again. I still haven’t received your birthday present this year. Can I get it next year?
Another year has passed. I’m in the CD shop, listening to your favorite songs. I thought of you again.
It’s my birthday again. I’m starting to hate birthdays because I still can’t receive your gift. Have you forgotten me? Xiaxia, don’t forget me. Don’t forget that there’s someone waiting for you in this world. He’s waiting for you to say happy birthday to him, okay?
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‘ Another half a year has passed. Xiaxia, today is your birthday. The renovation of Ten Miles of Red Dresses is finally completed. I’ve walked over and over again, and I’ve passed through the beautiful memories we had. Everything is so beautiful, except for you.” Happy birthday, Xiaxia…
‘It’s been five years. Xiaxia, you’ve been missing for five years. Do you know that?’ If you still remember me, please come back and see me, okay?
I saw you in Mary magazine! Li Shengxia, you’re great. You actually changed your name to Xia Shengli! I found you! I finally found you. I knew you weren’t dead. How did you die?
The plane finally arrived in L City. On the other side of the world, I’m here, Xiaxia.
Why did you pretend not to know me??You clearly remember me, right? I know that I have done many wrong things in the past. I know that you won’t forgive me so easily, but I believe that I will get your forgiveness one day..
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